mandag den 26. maj 2014

Længe siden

Long time no see!!!

Jeg er bange for fremtiden..
Jeg går på efterskole.. Har ingen tid til privatlivet.. Til mine tanker, til mine venner og familie.
Jeg er så træt hele tiden, og ved ikke hvad jeg skal gøre mere...
Kæresten og jeg har det godt sammen. Alt er godt... Men han har det skidt!
Han lider af en depression, men vil ikke forstå og anerkende det... Jeg ved ikke hvad jeg skal gøre længere....
Nu vil jeg smutte videre til time.... Men det er dejligt at få det ud

torsdag den 7. februar 2013

07-02-2013 kl. 00.40


Get it Right - Rachel
''What have I done
Wish I could run Away from this ship going underJust trying to helpHurt everyone else Now I feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders
What can you do
When your good isn't good enoughAnd all that you touch tumbles down Cause my best intentionsKeep making a mess of thingsI
just wanna fix it somehow

But how many times will it takeOh how many times will it takeFor me to get it right ,to get it right
Can I start againWith my faith shaken Cause I can't go back and undo thisI just have to stay and face my mistakesBut if I get stronger and wiser I'll get through this

What can you doWhen your good isn't good enoughAnd all that you touch tumbles down Cause my best intentionsKeep making a mess of thingsI just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it takeOh how many times will it takeFor me to get it right
So I throw up my fist throw a punch in the air And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fairYeah I'll send out a wish yeah I'll send up a prayerAnd finally someone will see how much I care
What can you doWhen your good isn't good enoughAnd all that you touch tumbles down Oh my best intentionsKeep making a mess of thingsJust wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it takeOh, how many times will it takeTo get it right, to get it right''

06-02-2013

Søvn mangel + en slem hjernerystelse..

Jeg sidder sammen med mine dejlige venner i skolen..
Har snakket med en ven som har det rigtig skidt..
Og det tynger mig ned; In the deep..?
Jeg har før haft det skidt..
Nu overvinder jeg dette shit..
Jeg lægger vreden bag mig.
Og fokusere frem ad..
Men først... ska jeg få noget mere søvn
OG min hjernerystelse ska væk..
Suk..
Det er nu 1 måned + 4 dage siden jeg fik den..
Og jeg har det stadig skidt..

Min dansk diktat/læseprøve ''syge-termins'' fik jeg overstået i dag..
og endte med at tage hjem 1-2 timer efter...
Suk..
Men her om 15-16 timer kommer min kæreste til Kolding..
Hvor jeg henter ham og så tager vi sammen op i storcentret
Hvor vi ska vente på min veninde,
Og så ska vi spise på jensensbøfhus og derefter ind og se; Warm Bodies

Jeg tar' bare til Kolding kl. 14.20 og er der 14.50.
og han kommer en time efter.. SÅ jeg aner ik hva jeg skal lave i den time :(
Nå.. men jeg finder på noget..

Efter biografen kører vi min veninde hjem (dvs. min mor gør)
Og derefter tar vi hjem til mig og sover.. eller ser film.. w/e

Op om 5 ½ time og gøre mig klar..

onsdag den 30. januar 2013


30-01-2013

Syg?!?
Ja...
Jeg sover kun en time, så vågner jeg...
Så sover jeg en time og vågner..
Og sådan fortsætter det..
Jeg har ikke været i skole, pga min hjernerystelse.. det er snart 3 eller 4 uger siden jeg fik den.
Men jeg lider stadig af den!
Det pisser mig rigtig meget af!
Men jeg har nok selv været skyld i det.. Da jeg her sidste mandags og indtil i går
Har arbejdet på vores projekt..
Og da vi havde fremlagt igår kunne jeg jo slappe helt af..
Og al smerten kom tilbage.. i dobbel styrke!
Jeg er godt træt..
Og igår fandt jeg så ud af at endnu en veninde cutter..
Jeg er så forvirret!!
Jeg kan ikke forstå noget af det!! :(
HVORFOR FUCK GØR DE DET!!??
Jeg går i spåner..
Selvom jeg er vred og ikke vil ha noget med én som gjorde det..
Og har gjort mig så vred som jeg er for tiden..
Så bekymre jeg mig stadig..
Læser bloggen som han skriver på..
Og jeg sidder der..
Bekymret.. og iskold...
Men hvad skal jeg gøre..
jeg kan ikke komme ud med vreden..
og hvis jeg nogensinde sku se ham igen...
Vil jeg ha min kæreste ved min side..
For jeg har lyst til at pande ham en!
Og der er ingen der ka stoppe mig, ud over min kæreste<3

Men tjaaa...
Suk..
Jeg sidder og falder i staver til Glee som jeg er begyndt at se... -_-
Igår sad jeg og sang godnat sange for min veninde.. :D

Og nu vil jeg finde en ny sang at synge!

tirsdag den 29. januar 2013

29-01-2013

I dag var dagen min gruppe skulle fremlægge om spiseforstyrrelserne:
-Anoreksi
-Bulimi
-Overspisning/tvansspisning (BED)
-Ortoreksi..
Jamen.. det gik skide godt!!
Mine to kammerater..
Lærke og Natascha..
Altså.. de gik fuldstændig i panik.
Lærke kastede op :'( og græd..
Natascha rystede..
Og jeg.. ja.. jeg kunne ik hjælpe...
Vi fik fremlagt.. og vist vores film..
Og jeg er stolt af os..
Vi gik all in i denne opgave..
Dvs.. jeg gjorde..
De legede ånden i glasset mens jeg flækkede af grin over dem..
Nå.. what ever.. vi er færdige.. og stolte..
Jeg har været kølig og irriteret i dag..
Men heldigvis alene hjemme!

Sååå...

mandag den 28. januar 2013

Please don't cut

Dear friend, lover, ex or whatever,
I'm writing you to let you know I hope you feel better.
I know that things are hard, the stress is so much.
And when you reach out, all there are is uppercuts.
And they are the cause for the ones on your wrist.
The reason why you cry, make a ball of your fists.
I understand that you have a lot you go through.
The fact that they yell and your brother would hit you.
And no one gets you, the plastered on fake smile.
The real one has been gone for quite a while.
So your arms bleed, but the blood tells you you're living.
It takes the way the numb feeling these people were giving.
That Razor Blade has become your closest companion.
It relieves all the pain you want to abandon.
Your arms are scared so you think you're unlovable.
But honestly I just want you to feel comfortable.
So please don't cut.
Please don't cut.
I promise you you're loved, so please don't cut.
Right now I see that you're stuck in a rut.
But please don't cut, please don't cut.
And if you feel the need to say you're all out of luck.
I'm just a call away when things get rough.
The fact of the matter is I know you're enough.
So please don't cut, please don't cut.
Put the blade down, it really isn't worth it.
No good will come from a slit up and bruised wrist.
And you cover it, long sleeves so they won't see.
But you can't hide all the hurt and pain from me.
You say you're miserable and there are times you want to die.
But then you pull out a razor and cut while you cry.
It makes you feel human, ans like you're still alive.
But don't you understand that the feeling is all a lie.
You put yourself in danger when you're slicing up your skin.
You're only letting self-hate find it's way in.
I promise you it will get better, but just meet me halfway.
And please throw the razor and pins all away.
I swear that you'll make it, there's no doubt in my mind.
And if you look around, I know it's what you find.
You're gonna feel better once this door has been shut.
Please make me a promise that tonight you won't cut.
So please don't cut.
Please don't cut.
I promise you you're loved, so please don't cut.
Right now I see that you're stuck in a rut.
But please don't cut, please don't cut.
And if you feel the need to say you're all out of luck.
I'm just a call away when things get rough.
The fact of the matter is I know you're enough.
So please don't cut, please don't cut.
They label you, but not a single word is true.
Who cares what the world is saying about you?
They don't know, they just assume.
They're not with you when you're lonely up in your room.
They're not with you when you're begging to up above.
They're not there, when you need a little love.
They don't care, when you have nothing to give.
So who's to say that you even would want to live?
Every life is precious, and that is what I promise.
If we never speak again, I hope you know I'm honest.
You deserve to be happy, and clean from the cutting.
You deserve to be a person who's surrounded with loving.
Every life is precious, and that's something that I promise.
If we never speak again, I hope you know I'm honest.
You deserve to be happy, and clean from the cutting.
You deserve to be a person who's surrounded with loving.
So please don't cut.
Please don't cut.
I promise you you're loved, so please don't cut.
Right now I see that you're stuck in a rut.
But please don't cut, please don't cut.
And if you feel the need to say you're all out of luck.
I'm just a call away when things get rough.
The fact of the matter is I know you're enough.
So please don't cut, please don't cut.
So please don't cut.
Please don't cut.
I promise you you're loved, so please don't cut.
Right now I see that you're stuck in a rut.
But please don't cut, please don't cut.
And if you feel the need to say you're all out of luck.
I'm just a call away when things get rough.
The fact of the matter is I know you're enough.
So please don't cut, please don't cut.

- Mikelwj